How to Find Yourself and Real Happiness with These 5 Shifts

For years, I thought I had it all figured out—but deep down, I felt numb. I was busy: changing careers, going back to school, checking off achievements like they were the map to fulfillment. But even as I accomplished more, I felt less alive. I wasn’t creating, laughing, or being fully present with my kids. I was chasing the next thing that promised happiness, but joy always felt just out of reach.

Eventually, I realized: I was disconnected from my truest self and living from the conditioning I was taught by my family, society and culture.

As kids, we live in joy. We sing when we feel like it, wear what we want, and don’t worry about “doing it right.” But as we grow up, people tell us it’s not ok to do those things. We have to act normal, be quiet, sit still. Due to these “rules”, we learn to shape-shift—into the good student, the good girl, the high achiever, the responsible one. We trade joy for approval. We bury our spark to fit in.

If you’re ready to reconnect with your spark, try these 5 powerful shifts:

1. Pause the Performing

Give yourself permission to stop trying to be impressive. Let go of proving, pleasing, and perfecting. The “you” underneath the performance is already enough.

2. Feel the Feels

Instead of bypassing or numbing emotions, listen to them. Your anger, sadness, fear, joy, love—they all carry wisdom. Feeling them is the way home.

3. Create for the Joy of It

Write, paint, sing, move—just because it feels good. Not to monetize, not to impress. Creating connects you to your essence.

4. Let Your Body Lead

Your body knows what’s true. Practice listening. Rest when you’re tired. Move when you feel stuck. Trust your emotions and sensations. Your body is a compass.

5. Come Home to Your Heart

Get quiet. Place your hand on your heart. Breathe into your heart. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? Then give yourself that kindness. Again and again.

The Real You Isn’t Missing—Just Waiting

You don’t have to overhaul your life to find joy. You just have to remember who you are under the layers. Live in the moments. Enjoy all the small things and find gratitude.

And when you do… you’ll feel it.

Joy. Peace. Freedom.

You, being fully you.